End Evil

Funny Sports Quotes

That might just be a foul

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." Joe Theismann, former quarterback

"You guys line up alphabetically by height." Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

"Better make it six, I can't eat eight." Dan Osinski, Baseball pitcher, when a waitress asked if he wanted his pizza cut into six or eight slices

"In a sense it's a one-man show... except there are two men involved, Hartson and Berkovic, and a third man, the goalkeeper." John Motson, BBC1

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." Alan Minter, Boxer

"Fred Davis, the doyen of snooker, now 67 years of age and too old to get his leg over, prefers to use his left hand." Ted Lowe

"And now, excuse me while I interrupt myself." Murray Walker

"Watch the time -it gives you an indication of how fast they are running." Ron Pickering

"Batistuta gets most of his goals with the ball" Ian St John

"Adams is stretching himself, looking for Seaman" Brian Moore

French international kicks the wrong ball

"That would have been a goal if the goalkeeper hadn't saved it." Kevin Keegan, ex-England manager and player

"What will you do when you leave football, Jack -- will you stay in football?" Stuart Hall, interviewing Jack Charlton, Radio 5 Live

"Certain people are for me and certain people are pro me." Terry Venables, ex-England manager

"My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7." David Beckham

"I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing." Ade Akinbiyi

"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona." Mark Draper

"I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock." Barry Venison, ITV

""I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat." Ron Atkinson

"Without being too harsh on David, he cost us the match." Ian Wright, ITV

"The good news for Nigeria is that they're two-nil down very early in the game." Kevin Keegan

"I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs..." Andy Gray, Sky Sports

"What disappointed me was that we didn't play with any passion. I'm not disappointed, you know, I'm just disappointed." Kevin Keegan

Man impaled on foot

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." David Acfield

"If you were in the Brondby dressing room right now, which of the Liverpool players would you be looking at?" Ray Stubbs

"You sometimes open your mouth and it punches you straight between the eyes..." Paddy Crerand

"He's one of those footballers whose brains are in his head..." Derek Johnstone

"I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league." Mark Viduka

"If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day." Neville Southall

"Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had." David Beckham

"I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable." Paul Gascoigne

"I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well." Alan Shearer

"I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier." Ugo Ehiogu

"I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country." Ian Rush

Return to Top