End Evil

Blair vs Brown

Hungry Gordon

With the lack of an obvious opponent for Tony Blair amongst the rival political parties the press have dispensed with tradition and chosen the Chancellor Gordon Brown as Blair's main competitor. Reports of rifts between the two have persisted for a few years now amid suspicions that Brown expects to be Prime Minister one day.

There have been rumours that Brown made a pact with Blair to support him in return for the same once Blair was in power. However in true baddy style Blair renegotiated once in power deciding that he liked it so much he would refuse to give it up and instead stab Gordon in the back by standing for a third term.

Other than the supposed deal for Tony to step down, which only the two of them really know the truth about, there has been a load of press hysterics and very little substantial disagreement. They appear to contradict each other but maybe this is just a clever ploy to ensure more people stay with Labour.

The two have argued over cash for the NHS (Brown wanted to give more). Blair has supported the whole EU idea while Brown has been cautious over Britain joining the single currency. Then Blair was holidaying during the tsunami and Brown pledged debt repayments grabbing headlines from his megalomaniac boss which led to a press conference showdown as they appeared separately but at the same time, to the shock and horror of the press.

King Tony

Blair has now refused to guarantee Brown's position as Chancellor should he be re-elected in May. Of course he will be re-elected as otherwise the British public would have to vote for a Tory vampire or get a sudden attack of Liberalism. Neither looks likely.

You have to wonder how Brown can take all this, if the pact stories are true then he's pretty spineless for not leading a revolt on King Tony. It's easy to see Brown as a potential saviour when comparing him with Tony Blair. We are constantly told Brown still has some of the socialist ideals, you know the stuff that used to define the Labour Party, the stuff that Blair has been busily defiling.

Brown used to sing traditional Labour songs, he admired the late Labour leader John Smith who would surely have won had he not died but we must remember Brown has also spent the last 8 years supporting Blair's government, providing a fat budget for the armed forces and doing a good job of backing up Tony's New World Order.

Punch Tony

In May 2004 opinion polls suggested Labour would only win with Brown in the hot seat as everyone has become sick of the smarmy, lying, generally odious Blair. Funnily enough despite his repeated failure to represent the desires of the British public the opposition are so incredibly, mind blowingly inept that they have completely failed to provide a viable alternative.

Blair has stolen the right from the Tories who after a succession of bland baldies have finally plumped for a true blood sucker in the creepy unelectable Howard. Meanwhile the Liberals cling to their wishy-washy tag as they continue to inconsistently attack and defend the government. The Scottish National Party have floundered for a while but with the return of Salmond they are back on the offensive and could steal a lot of the Labour vote north of the border.

Ultimately you just know it's going to be Blair again. The neutered Brown appears content to be the longest serving chancellor ever. Blair will get the chance to pass more of his loony Thatcherite legislation in his final term with no reason to care about the public anymore and his Labour government will go down in history as a bunch of sell-out whores with no ideals other than self-interest.

If only Brown were really a socialist and he was just staying in the government to expose Blair with a shed load of evidence before publicly beheading him and running through the streets with Tony's grinning noggin on a pike shouting "vive la revolution".

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